| A blonde had 17 children. After her husband`s death, she remarried and had 15 children. Some time later, the second husband died and a few days later, she expired too. The priest looked at her dead body and said: "Finally they are together." A guy seated near the dead body curiously asked: "Priest, you are referring to her and the first husband or the second one?" At this, the priest innocently replied: "I am referring to her legs!" |
| Three blonde sisters got married on the same day. Since, they could not afford to go on a honeymoon, they stayed home. That night, the mother couldn`t sleep. She heard her oldest daughter screaming, while her second daughter laughed all through the night. However, there was silence in her youngest daughter`s room. So, the next morning when the men left, intrigued, she asked her oldest daughter: "Why were you screaming last night?" The reply was, "Mom, you always told me if something hurt I should scream." She then looked at her second daughter and asked: "Why were you laughing last night?" "Mom, you always said that if something tickled, you should laugh," was the answer. She now asked her youngest daughter, "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?" "Mom, you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full," came the answer. |
| John went to his friend`s house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby." John said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning he went to the bathroom, and there he met a gorgeous young blond. "Hi," he said, "who are you?" "I`m Baby, and who are you?" "I`m stupid," he said. |
| America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle mission
with one astronaut from each country. Since it`s going to be two years up there, each may take any form of entertainment weighing 150 pound or less. The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb wife. They approve. The Japanese astronaut says, "I`ve always wanted to learn Greek. I want 150 lbs of books to learn Greek with." The NASA board approves. The Russian blonde astronaut thinks for a second and says, "It`s gonna be two years up there. I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made." Again, NASA okays it. Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered outside the shuttle to see what each astronaut got out of his personal entertainment. Well, it`s obvious what the American`s been up to, He and his wife are each holding an infant. The crowd cheers. The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10 minute speech in absolutely perfect Greek. The crowd doesn`t understand a word of it, but they`re impressed and they cheer. The Russian blonde astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his knuckles turn white, glares at the first row waving a chewed up cigar at them and says: "Anybody got a match?" |