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Resetting The Password
"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one."
roses
"Sorry, too few characters."
pretty roses
"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."
1 pretty rose
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
1prettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."
1fuckingprettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."
1FUCKINGprettyrose
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."
1FuckingPrettyRose
"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."
1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpUrAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow.
"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."
1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpUrAssIfYouDontGiveAccessRightFuckingNow
"Sorry, that password is already in use." -
Complaining Secretary
A secretary complaining with friend about her Boss:
He is so crazy about SEX! He tells me to do 'LAPTOP' & then 'DESKTOP' position followed by 'SPREADSHEET FORMAT'.
He tells me to 'Convert' his 'SOFT DISC' into 'HARD DISC' & he installs'ANTI-VIRUS' to 'ENTER' & 'SCROLLS' it in my 'C-DRIVE' till it 'EJECTS'.
Once I tried to 'ESC' but he caught and 'SHIFTED' me to his 'HOME' where he started pressing my 'BACKSPACE' saying-let us 'RESTART' again!
He threatens to keep me on 'STAND-BY' position if I refuse. Many times he works without 'CAPS-LOCK' & crashes my 'SYSTEM' until he 'LOGS-IN' and Looses his 'Ctrl'. The process continues till I 'ZIP' him and 'SHUTDOWN' his 'MAIN SYSTEM'.
But he doesn't know that the final 'PRINT-OUT' of all this 'DATA' will be handed over to him by me within a few months... -
Real Company Names
All of these are legitimate companies, who didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online name might appear! They are hysterical! These are not made up. Check them out yourself!
1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity.
Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com
2. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views.
Their website address is: www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than 'Pen Island'.
It can be found at: www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at: www.powergenitalia.com
6. 'IP computer' software, there's always: www.ipanywhere.com
7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.com -
Embarrassing Password
Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.
Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.
One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.
She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret. I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did.
After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.
"Well, what does it mean?", I asked.
She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."