| A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to findout anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!" |
| Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration: A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is www.whorepresents.com Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com |
| This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor laughing. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for aintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items. |
| One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Shane: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? Shane: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o`clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Shane ? Shane: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? Shane: Ohhhh , I can`t say that. Presenter: There`s a holiday to Bali at stake here Shane ! Shane: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Shane, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? Shane: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Kylie, how are you ? Kylie: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We`ve got Shane on the other line, say hello. Kylie: Hi Shane. Shane: Hi Kylie. Presenter: Now Kylie, we`re going to ask you the same three questions we asked Shane and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Shane: Just tell the truth Honey. Kylie: O.K. Presenter: Kylie, when was the last time you had sex ? Kylie: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can`t say that on radio. Shane: Kylie, it doesn`t matter. I`ve already told them. Kylie: O.K. ... About 8: 00 this morning before Shane went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Kylie ? Kylie: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That`s close enough ... Shane was just being a gentleman. Presenter: O.K. Kylie, final question. Where did you do it ? Kylie: Oh no I can`t say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. Presenter: There`s a trip to Bali on the line here. Shane: Kylie, I`ve already told them so it doesn`t matter anyway.. just tell em. Kylie: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass ! |