| * It can be up or down. It`s more fun when it`s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. * In the long-distant past, it`s only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that`s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time. * It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before. * It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. *Sometimes it s hard to tell what kind of person you re dealing with until it s too late. * If you don t apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses. * It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently. * We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. * If you re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble. * It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself why on earth did I do that? * Some folks have it, some don t. * Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. * Those who don t have it may agree that it s a nifty toy, but think it s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don t have it would like to try it. * Once you ve started playing with it, it s hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn t have work to do. |
| Lend me an ear, and I`ll tell ya a story... Once I had a wife--she was such a dear, Then came the Internet, and it all disappeared! Now there she sits , for hours on end... I don`t care where I`m goin`, don`t care where I`ve been. It could be two, or it could be nine... she really doesn`t care, long as she`s online. She gets outta work and rushes home, She comes in screaming at me, "Get off the phone!" Where the hell`s my hug? Where is my kiss? But she`s at the computer--that`s all she missed! Talking to buddies, checking the mail All her priorities--I`m in cyber Hell!! My stomach`s growling--it`s so unfair! No clean dishes and I`m out of underwear! Drink me a beer, stare at the walls V I`ll pick at my teeth while I`m scratching my ballsV Farting and burping all while I peeV Can you believe she`s there?? She could be with ME!! |
| Many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L.Ferguson mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people to choose from. Add to that a large database of company/college Acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN E-mail Addresses(warning may be offensive to some) 10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht@dku.edu 9. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme@fu.edu 8. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) - >blowmegd@dropdrawers.com 7. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -> dickinme@iup.edu 6. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) - kissinfk@lvu.edu 5. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) - beeranbj@myplace.com 4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker@pu.edu 3. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) - ibballin@bsu.edu 2. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division, Overton Canada) - btkisser@bendover.com 1. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock@tru.com |
| Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" |