| A gynecologist waits for his last patient, who does not arrive. After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax. After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring. It's the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay. "It doesn't matter," answers the doctor. "Look, I was having a gin and tonic while waiting. Do you want one to help you relax?" "I accept, thanks!" She answers. He gives her a drink, sits down in front of her and they start talking. Suddenly someone is heard opening the entrance office door. The doctor looks worried, gets up and says, "My wife! Quick, take off your clothes and spread your legs, otherwise she might think there is some nonsense going on!" |
| A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears." |
| In a small rural town the local doctor is known for his abrupt bed-side manners. His last appointment for the Friday afternoon shows up a bit late, and he is more agitated than normally. "Yeah, you're late sit down and speak up!" he greets the woman. "Doctor, I'm having difficulty falling pregnant, I've been trying for years and to no success." The doctor doesn't look up and says, "Good get rid of the clothes and go lie on the bed, and be quick about it. I'm in a hurry." So the woman walks over to the bed and as she was undressing she slowly and very unsurely says, "Doctor, I actually would have preferred the baby to be my husband's..." |
| A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously, "Is there a problem?" The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes, "I'm afraid so... I'm sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy." The patient is devastated and shockingly replies, "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another erection?" The surgeon pauses for a moment then says, "Well, you might, but it won't be yours." |