| Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and
paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. "Nice boobs," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?" |
| A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears." |
| A traveling salesman once got caught up in a blizzard got shelter with a farmer who had three daughters. The farmer called him aside and told him, "Young man, I have three daughters, so stay in your room the whole night and no tricks, be warned." In the morning, the salesman came down and the farmer asked him, "How was your night, young man?" "Oh! Slept like a rabbit. Thanks for your hospitality; I will never forget it." The farmer felt very happy and at the bar that night mentioned this fact to his close friend. He was boasting what a good father he had been by keeping his daughters away from trouble. His friend laughed aloud and said, "You fool! A rabbit does not sleep at night. It goes from hole to hole the whole night!" |
| A young lady was swimming at a swimming pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit. To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom leaving her lady bits exposed. Using her hands to cover up her modesty, she stealthily exited the pool by the side and grabbed a nearby sign to cover up. This somehow got her more attention, and she looked down at the sign. *"Depth 1.8metres"* Slightly embarrassed, she got rid of that sign and quickly grabbed another. More stares came her way... the sign read: *"Men's entrance"* She could feel her face getting redder by the moment, threw away the sign and grabbed the last one she could grab. Practically everyone was looking at her now, if not for the spectacle she was causing, but also for what was now on that sign: *"Repairs ongoing, please enter by the back"* |