| There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!" Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10, so I won't worry." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock... 12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys?" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Gladys? What's wrong?" asks Betty. "Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 4 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!" |
| A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs." Eunice said to her boy friend Jeff, "I can't bend that far these days!" Jeff replied with a smile, "Well then, you'll just have to put your head between my legs." Eunice looked wide-eyed at her boy friend, and asked, "If my head were between your legs, where could you put your head?" "My love," replied Jeff, "if you've got your head between my legs, I won't give a damn where my head is!" |
| Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even." |
| A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later, there was a loud scream. The madam and all the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Julie lay on the floor in a dead faint. Standing next to the bed was the midget, nude, and with a two foot penis hanging down and touching the floor. The girls were awe struck by the sight. Finally, one of the girls says," sir, would you mind if I felt it? I've never seen anything like that before." The midget replies, "Okay, honey. But only touching. No sucking. I used to be seven feet six inches tall!" |