| On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy, insisted on having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the sea. On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged from the bathroom dressed in some very hot Nightgown. "Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting for you to savor for the first time," she said coyly. "No thanks, I want to sit out here,"he said. So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after which she invited Billy once more to come in off the balcony to take pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually Daisy grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell asleep. In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony. "Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have been making love all night?"she asked. "Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a moment of it." |
| 3 Fucking Laws of Management - If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management... 1. Fucking Law of Delivery Time - No matter how hard and fast you fuck, the child comes after 9 months. Moral - Pressurizing does not alter delivery period. 2. Fucking Law of Direction - Even though both holes are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you fuck, you never get a child. Moral - Right direction and focus is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results. 3. Fucking Law of Human Resources - By appointing 4 men to fuck 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man to fuck 4 women, you can get 4 children. Moral - Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men. Forward to all Hard working employees. This is why sex education is necessary. |
| Two students go to physics oral exam. The first goes in the class and the professor begins with the questions: "Let's say you are traveling by train and its getting hot. What will you do?" "Open the window," he answers. "Very good!'" The professor continues, "The window has a surface of 1.5 m2, the compartment has a volume of 12 m3, the train speeds 80 km / h to the west, the south wind blowing at 5 m/s. How quickly will the space be refreshed?" The student does not know the answer and fails the exam. He gets out and tells the other student the question he was asked. The second student goes in, and the professor begins with the questions: "Lets say you are traveling by train and getting hot. What will you do?" "Take off the coat," answers the student. "It's very hot!" Continues the professor. "Take off my shirt and my vest." "It's very very hot!" Barks the Professor. "Will take off the pants and socks answers the student." "What if someone comes and tries to fuck you?" said the angry professor. "O yea, let the whole train fuck me, I am not opening the window!" |
| A boss had to interview 4 girls for his secretary's position..... He asked the same question to each one of them.... Boss: A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two ? First Girl: One is hairy, the other isn't..... Boss: OK... good ! Second Girl: One can talk but the other can't !!! .... Boss: That's better ! Third Girl: One is vertical and the other is horizontal ..... Boss: Hmm... clever ! Last Girl: One is for me and the other is for my Boss..... Boss: You are hired !!! |