| Little Johnny was the recipient of a holster and a pair of toy six shooters on his birthday. He went to show off his new toys, in full cowboy regalia. He went to the local ice cream stand, drew his pistols and exclaimed, "I want a sundae, and I want it NOW!" The waitress asked him, "What flavor?" Little Johnny replied, as he waved his guns, "I want a chocolate sundae, and I want it NOW!" The waitress asked, "Do you want whipped cream on it?" Little Johnny said, "I want whipped cream on it, and I want it NOW!" The waitress asked, "Do you want a cherry on it?" Little Johnny said, "I want a cherry on it, and I want it NOW!" The waitress asked, "Do you want your nuts crushed or chopped?" Little Johnny replied, "Do you want your tits shot off?" |
| A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so loudly. The passerby asks, "Who's in your upstairs room?" The elderly man replies, "I can't see how it's any of your business. Since, you must know, my daughter and intended son-in-law are upstairs." The passerby hands him the used condom and says, "Well, I just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell out the window!" |
| Bill goes to visit his doctor on his birthday, a look of concern quite evident on his face. The doctor says, "Hey there, Bill. What seems to be the problem?" "Well, Doc," Bill replies, "It's a little embarrassing. You see, when I was 14, my erections were like solid steel... I couldn't bend them down or from side to side." The doctor nodded. "When I was 24," Bill continued, "I found I could bend my erections down just a bit." The doctor nodded. "When I was 34, I found I could bend them a couple of inches down, and at least an inch to either side." The doctor nodded once again. Bill went on, "And now that I'm 44, I find that I can bend my erections almost all the way down and side to side. So, Doc, I'm really worried, and I have just one question to ask you." "And what would that be, Bill?" replied the doctor. "Doc," Bill asked, "Just how much stronger am I gonna get?" |
| Karuna Shankar from Rampur, UP claimed that his piece of land sinks down by 2 inches in the winter season and rises to the original level in the summers. National Survey of India were unable to find the cause of the problem so they invited National Geographic to investigate. Nat Geo surveyors Mark Davidson and the renowned Geologist Natalie Grehnovich spent 2 weeks in summer and 2 weeks in winter with their state of the art equipment studying and researching but could not come up with a plausible explanation of the claimed phenomenon. With the help of an interpreter they quizzed Karuna Shankar. "How did you first notice that the earth rises 2 inches in the summer and sinks 2 inches in the winter." Karuna Shankar replied, "When I sit down to pee in the winters, the earth is 2 inches below and not touching my balls but, in summers when I sit down to pee, my balls scrape the ground!!!" |