Hinglish Adult and Non Veg Jokes

  • Santa

    Santa, Apni Suhagraat Pe Jeeto Se Puchta Hai: Mein Thhe Pehle Hairaan Karun Ya Pareshaan???
    Jeeto: Hairaan.
    Santa: Ye Dekho... Mera 9 Inch Lamba Samaan....
    Jeeto: Kyaa Baat Hai... Maza Aa Jayega. Ab Pareshaan Karo...
    Santa: Ye Khada Nahin Hota!!!

    Santa: Bante, Daily Chyavanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.
    Banta, Hairani Se: Sach Mein, Mujhe Bhi Bata Na Kon Chusti Rahti Hai? Bata Na Bhai, Bata Na.
    Santa: Oye... Chusti Rahti Hai... Chusti Matlab Fitness... Tharki Saala...

    Santa Aur Jeeto Chutti Waale Din Sex KAr Rahe The... Tabhi Ceiling Fan Chalna Shuru Ho Gaya...
    Santa: Oye BC... Light Aa Gayi, Pehle Main Apna Phone Charge Kar Leta Hun, Is Light Ki Wajah Se Subah Se Chargre Nahin Kar Paya!!!
    Wife: Haan... Main Bhi Pehle Motor Chala Ke Paani Bhar Leti Hun! Yeh Kanjarkhana Toh Baad Mein Bhi Ho Rahega.

    Suhagraat Pe Apni Nayi Naveli Beiwi Ke Saath Sex Kane Ke Baad Bola: Khoon Toh Nikla Hi Nahin...
    Jeeto: Kyun... Tumne Andar Koi Teer Maara Hai Kya???

    Santa: Oye Pappu...
    Pappu: Haan Ji...
    Santa: Teri Koi Girlfriend Hai?
    Pappu: Nahain Hai... Kyun?
    Santa: Ya Toh Koi Girlfriend Bana Le... Ya Phir Bathroom Saaf Kia Kar.

    Santa: Darling, Sex Karte Waqt Meri Meri Kaun Si Ada The Sabse Achchi Lagi.
    Jeeto: Aapki Khansi...
    Santa: Khansi??? Kya Matlab...

    Jeeto: Jab Aap Andar Daal Ke Non Stop Khanste Ho Na Toh Kasam Se Itna Maza Aata Hai Ki Main Toh Bata Bhi Nahin Rahi Paa Rahi Theek Se...
  • Jeeto Ka Affair

    Ek Din Santa Ne Bade Dukhi Man Se, Lagbhag Rote Hue Banta Se Bola: O Yaar Banta, Aaj Mera Dila Bada Hi Udaas Hai.

    Banta: Kya Hua Yaar, Bata Toh Sahi... Aur Vaise Bhi Kehne Se Dukh Kuch Halka Ho Jaata Hai.

    Santa: Ab Kya Bataun Yaar... Maine Kal Delhi Se Vaapas Aate Hue Apni Jeeto Ko Message Kiya Ki Main Aaj Raat Ko Ghar Pahunch Jaunga.

    Banta: Phir?

    Santa: Jab Mein Ghar Pahuncha Toh Maine Dekha Ki Vo Kisi Aur Aadmi Ke Saath Sex Kar Rahi Thi. Bada Dhakka Sa Laga Yaar.

    Banta: Yaar Ismein Itne Udaas Hone Waali Kya Baat Hai... Ho Sakta Hai Ki Bhabhi Ko Tera Message Mila Hi Na Ho Ya Unhone Message Pada Hi Na Ho...
  • Santa & Pappu Ke Naughty JOkes

    Ek Ladki Ki T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha: Amul - The Taste Of India.
    Ye Dekha Ke Santa Bada Impress Hua Aur Apni Pant Pe Likh Diya: Kurkure - Teda Hai Par Mera Hai!

    Teache: Pappu, Pyar Jung Se Behtar Kyun Hai?
    Pappu:O MAdam Ji... Aapko Itna Bhi Nahin Pata... Pyaar Isliya Behtar Hai Kyunki Condom Bandook Se Sasta Hota Hai.

    Santa: Aaj Tumhari Behan Ko Ghar Mein Dkh Ke Badi Khushi Ho Rahi Hai.
    Jeeto: Koi Pant Ye Jeans Pehan Lo... Payjame Mein Tumhaari Saari Khushi Dikh Rahi Hai.

    Aunty: Pappu Beta, Ghodi Kab Chadoge???
    Pappu: Kya Aunty Ji, Gharwalon Ne Abhi Ladki Bhi Nahin Dhundi Aur Aapne Position Bhi Soch Li...

    Teacher: Isko English Mein Translate Karo - Ladi Kapde Pehan Chuki Jai.
    Pappu: Oh Shit! We Are Late.

    Santa: Aaj Subah Ek Aurat Ne Mujhe Lift Mein Peet Diya.
    Banta: Vo Kyun?
    Santa: Mein Uski Taraf Dekh Raha Tha... Usne Kaha 'Ek Daba Do'... Maine Daba Diya... Uske Baad Kuch Theek Se Yaad Nahin.
    Jeeto Aur Preeto Aapas Mein Gupp-Shupp Ldaa Raha Thi... Tabhi Wahan Se Ek Tail Maalish Waala Gujarta Hai.
    Jeeto: Dekho Vo Tail Wala Jaa Raha Hai... Usko Zara Rokna...
    Preeto, Sharmaate Hue: Tail Waala Bhi Kabhi Ruka Hai.
  • Santa Ka Accicdent

    Ek Baar Santa Ko Ek Car Takkar Maar Jaati Hai. Use Kuch Log Utha Ke Pass Ke Hospital Mein Jama Karva Dete Hain.

    Hosh Aane Pe Ek Police Inspector Uska Byan Lene Aata Hai Aur Santa Se Puchta Hai.

    Inpector: Santa Ji, Jis Car Ne Aapko Takkar Mari Vo Kaun Si Gaadi Thi, Uska Rang Aur Number Kya Tha??

    Santa Ne Thoda Sa Socha Aur Jawab Diya: Gaadi Ka Toh Pata Nahin, Rang Or Number Pe Maine Dhyaan Nahin Diya...

    Inspector: Hmmm. Ye Toh Problem Ho Jayegi... Apne Kuch Bhi Notice Nahin Kiya Aapne?

    Santa: Vo Toh Maine Bade Dhyaan Se Notice Kiya Inspector Saab. Us Gaadi Ko Ek Madam Chala Rahi Thi, Uski Shirt Ke Do Buttons Khule Hue Thhe. Lal Rang Ki Bra Dikh Rahi Thi, Boobs Shayad 36 Size Ke Rahe Honge, Gale Mein Sone Ka Locket Tha, Haath Mei Cigarette Pakdi Hui Thi, Aur Haan Sir Ji, Uske Right Wale Boobs Pe Ek Til Bhi Tha.
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