| The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating." Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see RockCity and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight." The teacher sat down and cried. |
| A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils` answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can." The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can." The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can... and I think can!" |
| Little Johnny (age 9) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Little Johnny him, "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies, "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do ok." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Little Johnny answers, "Well, so far, we've been lucky..." |
| One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying. So she called Little Johnny to recite in class. "Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?" "An orgy," answered Little Johnny. |