| An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, "If you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus." |
| A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Little Johhny, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!" She yells, "Whose Little Johhny?" A kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Little Johhny." "Well, Johhny, your staying after school!" The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "PAYS to ADVERTISE." |
| For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and so there's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no means of transportation. |
| At dinner, little Johnny was forced to lead the family into prayer. Johnny: Dad I don't know to pray. Dad: Just pray for ur family members, friends, neighbors, the poor etc. Johnny: Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so that they won't come again. Forgive our neighbor's son who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled wid her on bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all the poor naked aunties on my Dads blackberry and... Provide shelter for all the homeless uncles who use Mom's room when Dad is at office. AMEN." No one had dinner that night. |