| Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina. He asks her what it is and she embarrassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge." A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!" She replies, "I lost it, honey." v A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?" Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!" |
| Every day Little Johnny went to the park and sat on the park bench to watch the squirrels climb the tree. One day while Little Johnny was sitting on the park bench, Susie walked by and unzipped Little Johnny's fly. He went home and told his mother about it and she said, "Tell the little girl not to do that again because you have a mouse in your pants." The following day Little Johnny was sitting there and Susie did the same thing again. As his mother told him, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Don't do that because I have a mouse in my pants." At that remark, Susie lifted her skirt and said, "Go get it, Pussy!" |
| Little Johnny and Jenny were only 10 years old, but they knew they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walked up to him and said, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replied, "Well Johnny, you are only ten. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replied, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Mr. Smith said with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replied, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week. And I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine." v Mr. Smith was impressed by how much thought Johnny had put into this. "Well Johnny, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?" Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, we've been lucky so far." And now Mr. Smith no longer thinks little Johnny is so cute. |
| A substitute teacher walks into the classroom. On the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Little Johnny, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!" She yells, "Who's Little Johnny?" This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Little Johnny." "Well, Jimmy, your staying after school! The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "IT PAYS to ADVERTISE." |