| Jill and Little Johnny were riding down the road and Little Johnny swerved slightly to go past a pretty blonde jogging. Jill said, "Did you see her?" "Well, yeah." said Little Johnny. "That really gets me. I've never understood that about women. She was wearing a necklace, two bracelets, hoop earrings, her nails were freshly polished with Salerno Mavala nail polish, she'd recently spritzed Chanel behind her ears, and she was wearing Yves Saint Laurent lip gloss!" Jill said. "You noticed all that?" asked Little Johnny. "Yes I did. You didn't?" replied Jill. Little Johnny said, "Not exactly. All I noticed was that she had legs all the way up to her very well rounded cute little butt, a spectacular set of nicely bouncing tits and no wedding ring." Then Little Johnny had to swerve again to avoid being slapped by an even more upset Jill. |
| In Little Johnny's classroom, the teacher gave the class a homework assignment. She wanted them to tell the class one talent that they had and that they were especially good at. The next day the Teacher calls on Mary. Mary got up and said, "I've been taking piano lessons for 2 years." The teacher told Mary that was very good. After all of the other students told about their talent, the teacher doesn't have a choice but to let Little Johnny have his turn. She doesn't want to call on him because she is scared of what he is going to say. She asked Little Johnny to tell the class about his special talent. He stood up and said, "This is my special talent." Then he stuck his tongue out. The teacher said, "Little Johnny, I don't understand. How is your tongue a special talent"? Little Johnny said, "See this ball where my tongue is pierced? My babysitter said that was a special talent because not every boy that she baby sits, has a pussy grinder!" |
| The teacher decided that in science class, she would teach her students about different materials. Standing at the front of the class, she asked, "Children, if you were able to have one raw material in the world, what would it be?" Raising his hand, little Timmy said, "I would choose gold. It's worth lots of money and I could by a Porsche." Next, little Lois raised her hand and said, "I would want platinum because it's worth more than gold and I could by a Corvette." "Very good, both of you," said the teacher. "Johnny, what would you want?" Little Johnny stood up and said, "Oh, I would want silicon." "Why would you want silicon, Johnny?" asked the teacher. "Heck, my Aunt as two bags of it and you wouldn't believe all the sports cars outside our house!" he replied. |
| Little Johnny was sitting in class one day when he asked his teacher a question, "Please Miss," he said, "What's a Penis?" The teacher thought it was an excellent question so she told the whole class that it would be their homework for the night. When little Johnny got home he immediately went to his father and asked him what a penis is. His father undid his trousers and said: "Look son, that's a penis." Johnny was very pleased that it had been so easy to do his homework. The next morning, on his way to school he met Mary but she was in floods of tears. "Why are you crying?" he asked. "Well I wasn't able to do my homework," she sobbed. "Nobody would tell me what a penis is." "OK, I'll help you," said little Johnny. As he undid his trousers he said to Mary, "Look, you see this. Well, this is a Dick. A penis is the same but a few inches shorter! If you ever need one, or want to play with one, just let me know." |