| A businessman packing for a trip glances in his briefcase. "Honey," he says to his wife. "Yes, darling?" she replies. "Honey," he says, in mild exasperation, "Why do you persist in putting a condom in my briefcase every time I go on a trip? You know I only have eyes for you. I'd never be unfaithful." "Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you," she replies sweetly, "It's just that, well, you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you'd be protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won't you? For my peace of mind?" "Oh, all right, if you put it that way," he relented, "I'll do it for you. But for safety's sake, give me more than one!" |
| A woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doctor, I'm doing it twice a night now, sometimes even three times." "That's wonderful," said the doctor, "What does you husband say now?" "I don't know, Doctor," she replied. "He has been away on a business trip for the past two weeks." |
| An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman lurking in the shadows. "Twenty Euros," she whispers. Paddy had never had a hooker before, but decides - What the hell, it's only twenty Euros. He takes up her offer and they hide in the bushes. They've going at it for a couple of minutes, when, all of a sudden, a light flashes on them. It's a police officer! "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer. "I'm making love to me wife," the Irishman answers sounding annoyed. "Oh, I'm so sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know!" "Well, neither did I," said Paddy, "til ya shined dat light in her face!!" |
| A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just incase this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whisperes to the wife, "Honey, im going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he's going with this." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Vagina?" "Yes I do." says the lady. The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!" |