| A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk on the beach. Her husband always flew over every morning, and when she saw his aeroplane, she held the white towel high above her head. When her husband saw it, he made either the left wing or the right wing of his aeroplane go down. The left wing meant: 'I will be busy tonight and won't be home.' The right wing meant, 'In eight hours I will be holding you in my arms.' One morning he flew over with eight other aeroplanes, and his left wing went down. Before his wife had time to feel sad about this, all the other aeroplanes flew over, and each one of them turned its right wing down. |
| A little old lady asks her doctor if there are any Viagra pills for her elderly husband. "Yes," the doc says, "there are three different strengths: 20% , which lifts it up a little bit; 50%, which makes it stand up half way; and 100%, which makes it touch the ceiling." "Oh", says the woman,"I'll take the 20% pill please." The doc shrugs his shoulders and says, "the 20% pill won't do much for you sex life, love." To which the old woman replies, "No, but it'll stop him pissing in his slippers!" |
| The counter man in the Ice Cream shop saw a customer leaving the drug store across the way, heading for his shop. The customer entered, set a small Thermos container on the counter and unwrapped a condom. "Here, take this condom. Drop a scoop of ice cream in it." The counter man did so, and handed the condom, with its ice cream content, to the customer. The customer placed the arrangement in the Thermos jug, and capped the jug. "What," asked the ice cream purveyor, "is the reason for that?" "For three months, my wife has been bugging me for a deep freeze. Tonight, I'm going to give it to her." |
| Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy. "What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively. "Well," he mused, "I'd have to say that you're a lesbian!" |