| One day a father and his ten-year-old son were on the bus, when the boy noticed a redhead with huge breasts..."Hey Pop," the son cried, "look at those boobs!" The father, a religious man proceeded to send the boy to an all male military academy, in the hope that he would get some manners. Six months later the boy came home and the father decided to take him on another bus ride. Again, a woman with very large breasts sat across from them. To see if his son had learned any manners, the father exclaimed, "Look at the boobs on that redhead!" "Boobs my eye," the boy replied with a smile, "get a load of the ASS on that bus driver!!!" |
| After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He was in a hospital, in agonizing pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and an absolutely stunning, gorgeous and incredibly sexy nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation. The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot but a Marine, she spoke to him softly, slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your Boobs, then?" And that, my friend, is a REAL POSITIVE ATTITUDE! |
| An Army Battalion was having a cocktail party to welcome the new Brigade Commander. A circular was sent out to all: Cockfail at 7 PM sharp at the Officers Mess. The Commanding Officer saw the spelling mistake and asked the Adjutant to amend it. The Adjutant did and it read: Refer to circular, kindly read tail, instead of fail - Cock stands, as it is. |
| After the end of the war, a young female reporter from a local newspaper was sent to write an article about the soldiers homecoming. She had interviewed half a dozen, when she met Jacky on the street. "Excuse me," she said "but were you in the war?" "Yeah, I was in the infantry." "Would you mind to answer a few questions for a newspaper article?" "No, I wouldn't mind at all." "When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?" "I fucked my wife," Jack said bluntly. The journalist went crimson, and tried desperately to change the subject. "After that. I mean, what did you do after that?" "I fucked her again," Jack answered. The journalist turned even more red, and got even more desperate to change the subject. "Other than that! Ummmm... what did you do when you were finished with all that?!" "Then I unstrapped my shoes and my heavy backpack and fucked my sweetheart again." |