| 1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE. 2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK. 3. Condom = GOALKEEPER 4. Condom breaks = PENALTY 5. Abortion = RED CARD 6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN 7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL 8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH 9. Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK 10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP 11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH 12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL 13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME 14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY 15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ 16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN 17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline. 18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR 19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll 20.Your guy collect your chick= True pass 21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury 22.You and your girl break up= Game over 23. Girl tell you to stop= YELLOW CARD** |
| The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team's performance soars. They win the county and state championship until one day they are favoured to win nationals easily. Penelope, a 16-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says, "Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest." "What?" the coach says in a panic, "How far down does it go?" She replies, "Down to my testicles. That's something else I want to talk to you about." |
| A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished." The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen. Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!" The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could." The trainer exclaimed, "Oh, so that's what finished him off?!!!" "Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls..." |
| In lane 1. Passionate Lady In lane 2. Bare Belly In lane 3. Silk Panties In lane 4. Conscience In lane 5. Jockey Shorts In lane 6. Clean Sheets In lane 7. Thighs In lane 8. Big Dick In lane 9. Heavy Bosom In lane 10. Merry Cherry AND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door. AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick. AT THE STRETCH: Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming. AT THE FINISH: It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head... Bare Belly shows... Thighs weakens... Heavy Bosom pulls up... And Clean Sheets never had a chance... |