| In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?" |
| A man was in the habit of carrying an umbrella wherever he went. Unfortunately, he broke his last good one. Looking at the six useless umbrellas in his umbrella stand, he decided to take them all in and have them repaired.
On the bus on the way home, he picked up the umbrella that belonged to the woman sitting next to him, purely out of habit. She immediately cried, "Stop, thief!" and he surrendered the umbrella. Very embarrassed, he quickly got off the bus. The next week he picked up his repaired umbrellas. When he got on the bus with the six umbrellas under his arm, he just so happened to sit next to the very same woman. She gave him an icy stare and said, "Had a good day, huh?" |
| A man who is a manager in a 5-star hotel calls his wife.
Husband: Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai? Wife: Steamed fine long grain white rice, hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas, accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels and served with dollops of fragrant clarified butter. Husband: WOW... SOUNDS YUMMY!!1! Naam kya hai dish ka??? Wife: Daal-Chawal. Husband: Daal-Chawal?? Toh itna ghumaya kyun? Wife: Maine bhi vaise hi kaha jaise tum 5 star wale public ko kehte ho. |
| A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered. `God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused. "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said. "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, the little girl observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't He?" |