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The Killer Jigsaw Puzzle
One morning a blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can`t figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it`s a tiger."
The friend figures he`s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She let him in and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I`m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture ofthat tiger."
"Second, I`d advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box! -
Fire Saftey!
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later a blonde employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze! -
Blonde`s Eye Exam
A blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time, found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination.
Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination." -
Smart Blonde
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's a blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."