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Mental Deficiency
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at a large gathering, and his blonde hostess broached a subject of which the doctor was most at ease.
"Doctor, would you mind telling me," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in someone who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question, one which anyone should be able to answer without any problem. If he or she hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?" asked the hostess.
"Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'" the doctor replied.
The blonde thought for a moment, then said, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I've never known very much about history!" -
Turkey Rolls
A newlywed blonde phones her mother and sobs, "Steve doesn't appreciate the things I do for him."
"Now, now, dear," her mother replies, in an attempt to comfort her. "I'm sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young bride wails, "I bought a frozen turkey loaf for Thansgiving and he screamed at me because of the price."
"Well, that is being a little cheap," the mother agrees. "Those turkey rolls don't cost more than a few of dollars."
"It wasn't the cost of the turkey roll he was upset about, mother," says the blonde, "it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket?" What are you talking about?" asks the confused mother. "Why did you need an airplane ticket?"
"Well, mother," the blonde explains, "when I went to prepare the turkey roll, I checked the directions on the back. It said, 'Prepare from a frozen state', so I flew to Alaska!" -
Cheap Cruise
A blonde enters a restaurant and goes straight to the bulletin board in the back. On the board, she sees a piece of paper that reads "Ocean Cruise - Only $10".
She pulls the piece of paper from the board and goes to the address listed on the back of it. She enters the building and hands the paper to the secretary who nods and asks the blonde if she has ten dollars. The blonde takes five dollars from her purse and gives it to the secretary.
The secretary then looks over to a burly guy reading a newspaper and nods to him. He stands up, walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.
When she wakes up, she finds that she's tied to a log and is floating down the river. She starts to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. All of a sudden, she sees one of her blonde friends tied to a log floating right next to her.
"So, do you think they're going to serve us some food on this trip?" the blonde asks her friend.
"They didn't serve any last year!" her blonde friend replies. -
Tragic News
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"