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Cheap Cruise Deal
A blonde walking by a travel agency notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special - $99!"
She goes inside, hands the agent her money, and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, pushes her in and leaves her, floating downstream.
A few minutes later another blonde passes by, sees the sign, goes inside, and pays for the $99 cruise special. She receives the same treatment.
Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. As they float along, side-by-side, the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"
The other replies, "They didn't last year!" -
Prison Labour
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
Before leaving, she tells an officer, "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted !"
Officer laughs, saying, "Are you kidding ? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"
"Bullshit ! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months !" -
Defective Boat
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.
After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.
Workers determined that everything from the engine to the out-drive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat.
So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems.
Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air: under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer. -
The Blonde Nun
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.
"There must be something you would have of me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said.
"Just name it," said God.
"It's those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.
"Name it.... Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."