-
Horse Rider
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a frim grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when......
The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse! -
Another chance!!
A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who`s hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:
"What`s two times two?"
"Five", answers the blonde and smiles.
The guy shakes his head, but the whole stadium shouts, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then the guy asks her, "What`s three times three?"
"Eight", answers the blonde proudly.
The guy is about to let her return to her seat, but the whole stadium starts to shout again, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the guy asks her one more question. "What`s four times four?"
"Sixteen", answers the blonde shyly.
Before the guy expresses his reaction, the whole stadium starts to shout, "Give her one more chance, give her one more chance!" -
Frozen state!
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Andrew doesn`t appreciate what I do for him!"
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen chicken and he yelled at me about the price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those chickens are only a few dollars."
"No, mother it wasn`t the price of the chicken, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"
"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, `PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,` so I flew to Alaska." -
Highway Jerks
One afternoon, this blonde drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop.
Blonde rolls down the window and says, "How can I help you?"
"I am the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face, blonde hands a sandwich to the guy in red and drives away. Not even five minutes later, he comes across another guy. This guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving for him to stop.
A bit irritated, blonde stops, cranks down the window, and says, "What can I do for you?"
"I am the yellow jerk of the highway. You got something to drink?"
Hardly managing to smile this time, he hands the guy a can of cola and stomps on the pedal and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset, he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what.
To his frustration, he sees another guy on the side of the road, this one dressed in blue and signaling for him to stop. Reluctantly, blonde decides to stop one last time, rolls down his window, and yells,
"Let me guess. You`re the blue jerk of the highway. Just what the hell do you want?"
"Driver`s license and registration, please."