| She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tripped on the cordless phone. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put Sagittarius. If she spoke her mind, she`d be speechless. When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved. Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night. |
| A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It`s your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. "C`mon! Jump! You gotta jump! say the firemen to theRedhead. "Oh no! You`re gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It`s Brunettes we can`t stand! We`re OK with Redheads!" "OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You`re just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won`t pull the blanket away!" "Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you`re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ." |
| Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a
Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend.
She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie`s schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would. About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can`t make the supper. I can`t light a fire with the matches you brought." Sally replied, "I don`t understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left." |
| The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one." |