| Little Freddie's mother was in the hospital, and he was paying a visit to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg. "Hello," he said. "How long have you been here?" "Oh, about a month." "Let me see your baby," he then asked. "Why, I haven't a baby," the woman replied. "Gee, you're slow," said Freddie. "My mama's been here just two days and she's got one." |
| An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell , or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty , but a horse produces clumps . Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell , or no life after death, when you don't know shit ?" And then she went back to reading her book. |
| When a woman discovered that she was pregnant, her four-year-old son overheard his parents' conversation. He didn't say anything until a week later when a family friend asked him if he was excited about the prospect of a new brother or sister. "Yes," said the boy, "and I know what we're going to name it. If it's a girl, we're going to call her Emily, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." |
| Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... smack his ass again!" |