| A little boy asks his dad, "Where does poo come from?" His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up. "Well son," he says, "food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein before waste enters the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo." "Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?" |
| A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders.....6-year-olds, because the last one is classic! Better to be safe than...................... punch a 5th grader. Strike while the..................... bug is close. It's always darkest before..................... Daylight Saving Time. Never underestimate the power of..................... termites. You can lead a horse to water but...................... how? Don't bite the hand that...................... looks dirty. No news is..................... impossible. A miss is as good as a..................... Mr. You can't teach an old dog new..................... math. If you lie down with dogs, you'll..................... stink in the morning. Love all, trust..................... me. The pen is mightier than the..................... pigs. An idle mind is..................... the best way to relax. Where there's smoke there's..................... pollution. Happy the bride who..................... gets all the presents. A penny saved is..................... not much. Two's company, three's..................... the Musketeers. Don't put off till tomorrow what..................... you put on to go to bed. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..................... you have to blow your nose. There are none so blind as..................... Stevie Wonder. Children should be seen and not..................... spanked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed..................... get new batteries. You get out of something only what you..................... see in the picture on the box. When the blind leadeth the blind..................... get out of the way. And the favorite: Better late than..................... pregnant!!!! |
| A college student wrote a letter home: Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me. Your son, Marvin. P.S.I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back.But it was too late. A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said: Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came! |
| A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered. `God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused. "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said. "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, the little girl observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't He?" |