| A Bengali, a Punjabi, a Gujarati and a Hardcore Leftist Keralite were reluctant to take the Covid-19 vaccine. The Doctor called them in one by one. He told the Bengali , "You must take your vaccine." The Bengali said, "No!". The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine." The Bengali took his vaccine. Then the Punjabi came in. The Doctor said, "Here is your vaccine." Punjabi said, "No!" The Doctor said, "Your neighbours have all taken the vaccine." So the Punjabi took the vaccine. Then the Gujarati came in. The Doctor said, "Take your vaccine." Gujarati said, "No!" And the Doctor said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi." The Gujarati took his vaccine. Finally the Keralite came in. The Doctor said, "take your vaccine." Keralite said, "No." The Doctor said, "Every cultured and civilised man takes the vaccine." The Keralite said, "Go away, I will never take the vaccine." The Doctor then said, "All your neighbours have taken it." The Keralite replied, "I don't care." The Doctor, now desperate, said, "It's an order from Prime Minister Modi." The Keralite replied, "I don't care." Finally the Doctor asked, "Which state are you from?" The Keralite said, "I am from Kerala." The Doctor said, "Oh sorry, you are not entitled to have the vaccine." The Keralite said, "What!!? Who are you to tell me that I cannot have the vaccine? How dare you deny me my fundamental rights! Give me the vaccine or I will protest outside your clinic!" The doctor gladly gave him the vaccine and the Mallu proudly took it and said to his comrades, "I fought and got the vaccination!" |
| A packed plane was flying over the Atlantic at night. Suddenly, the pilot says, "Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude & we must throw out all the baggage." A little later, the pilot says, "We're still losing altitude, we must throw out any hand baggage that is in the cabin. Despite more things being thrown out the plane continues its descent. Pilot, "Still going down, we must throw out some people." There's a big gasp from the passengers! The Pilot says, "But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order... So... A... any Africans on board?" No one moves. "B... any Blacks on board?" No one moves. "C... any Caribbeans/Chinese on board?" Still no one moves. A little Parsi boy asks his dad, "Dad, I'm scared; P is coming closer and we are Parsis." Dad: "Tonight son, remember we are Zoroastrians." |
| A man gets off a plane in Boston and heads immediately for the Men's Room. It's crowded but he finds a vacant urinal to gain relief after the long flight and many drinks. The man at the urinal next to his says, "You're Jewish?" "Yes." "You come from Talahasee, Florida?" "Yes." "Your parents went to Temple Immanuel?" "Yes, I don't think I know you. How do you know so much about me?" The man next to him replies, "Rabbi Minski of Temple Immanuel is the only Rabbi I know that performs circumcisions by cutting at an angle and you're peeing in my shoe! |
| A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically disowning him. After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air. Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. "Mom," he says, "I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we've talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name." Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. `Oh, son, this is wonderful,` she gushes. "I've been waiting for this moment all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world." "That's great, Mom," replies the son. "And what," asks the mother, "is the baby's name?" The son proudly replies, "Smoked Whitefish" |