| By comedian Jeff Foxworthy Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about the Muslims? Well, it's time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our friends, the Muslims, on this grandiose list. So Jeff Foxworthy did his part to include the Muslims on his list... 1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally object to the use of liquor, You may be a Muslim. 2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim. 3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim. 4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim. 5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and suicide, You may be a Muslim. 6. If you can't think of anyone that you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim. 7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim. 8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim. 9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, then you, too, may be a Muslim. 10. If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you are part of the problem here, but if you delete this, you are most likely a Muslim. |
| In the crowded Chembur station, a bespectacled man with a thick moustache approached a passenger and proclaimed in a heavy Malayali accent, "You're Sippy Sopan!" The passenger replied, "No, I am Rajesh Joshi!" "Nyo, nyo, you're Sippy Sopan," persisted the Malayali. "No, no, I am Rajesh Joshi," insisted the passenger. The exasperated Malayali looked to the right, looked to the left, pointed a finger at the man's trousers (fly) and whispered... "Your Sippy Sopan!!!` |
| A Chinese man boarded a flight to Chicago and promptly sat down on the first seat he encountered. He was soon told that seat was reserved for flight attendants. With his limited English he did not fully understand what he was told but hand signals soon got him to move a little further back. Soon there was another person persuading him to move out of first class. Again he moved further back. There was yet another discussion and he took no further chances and went to the very last seat in the tourist section. Some time later a flight attendant asked him if he was "for coffee". Furious he replied, "You foh coffee, I stayah hee." |
| I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Kanna Swami. I asked him, "How did you ever get a name like that being a Chinese?" He said, "Many, many years ago when I first went to USA. I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. "The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee. The white lady at the counter looked at him and asked, 'What is your name?' He replied, 'Kannaswami.' "Then she looked at me and asked, 'What's your name?' "I said, 'Sem Ting.'" |