| Three Englishman walk into a bar and spot a Welshman sitting alone at a table. One fellow said to the others, 'Let's pick a fight with that Welshman over there.' His partner replied, 'Wait, we don't want to be arrested. Let's make him start the fight.' The third Englishman said, 'Wait here chaps. I know how to do it.' He went over to the Welshman and said, 'St David was a flippin' sissy.' To this the Welshman replied, 'Ah well you don't say!' and calmly resumed drinking his beer. The second Englishman now tried his luck and said to the Welshman, 'St David was a stupid fool that wore a dress!' The Welshman again replied, 'You're very sharp, you don't say!' and calmly resumed drinking his beer. The last Englishman told his friends he knew how to rile the Welshman and bounced up to the table and yelled, 'St David was an Englishman!' The Welshman replied, calmly, 'That's what your mates were trying to tell me.' |
| Smith and Jones were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Smith," asked Jones, "are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Smith replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Jones asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" Waiter: "No Chinese Jews, Sir." "Are you really sure?" Jones asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." The waiter replied exasperated, "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews." |
| A mallu woman went for a job interview for the post of a Secretary. The manager saw the woman's colourful clothes, gold jewellery, extra coconut oiled uncombed hair, and his mind was screaming: "NOT THIS WOMAN!!!" Nevertheless, he had to interview her. So he told her, "If you make a sentence using all the words I give you, then maybe I'll give you a chance at the job! The words are: GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK." The enthusiastic mallu, sat staring at the ceiling licking her lips thinking for a while. She then let out a dorky laugh and said, "I hear the phone ring, GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW.... BLUE'S that?? Sorry WHITE did you say? Aiyo..... Wrong number!! Don't simbbly PURPLELY disturb ppl and don't call me BLACK next time wokay!!! OK... THANK YOU" The Manager Fainted... |
| St Peter was manning the pearly gates when 40 New Yorkers showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door before, St Peter thought he had better consult God. So he left the group at the gates and went off to find God. "I've got 42 people from New York," said St Peter. "Is it safe to let them in?" "New York, huh?" mused God. "We certainly don't want heaven overrun with New Yorkers. Why don't you just admit the ten most virtuous?" St Peter went back to relay the news but a few minutes later returned to God in a state of anxiety. "What's happened?" asked God. "They've gone," gasped St Peter. "What, all of the New Yorkers?" "No, the pearly gates!" |