| A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tyre alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones. "Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a lot of tyres... maybe I can help here." "You sure can," the man with the flat tyre replied wearily. "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tyre ought to be changed, I will concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done." |
| A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young woman. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do." The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he ask, "Is the cookie delicious?" "Yes," she answer. "Do you want another one?" "Sure, please." The monk looks her in the eyes and said, "Do you see the problem now?" The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak, "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that." The monk shakes his head, "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less." |
| Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased." "I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost?" "All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand." "No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really... $50,000?" Rose nodded. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the Shul for the Rabbi's services. The food and drinks were another $500. And the rest went towards the memorial stone." Sadie computed quickly. "$42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy vey, how big is it?" "Seven and a half carats." |
| She married him because he was such a "strong man." She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male." He married her because she was so "fragile and petite." He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless." She married him because "he knows how to provide a good living." She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business." He married her because "she reminds me of my mother." He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day." She married him because he was "happy and romantic." She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving." He married her because she was "steady and sensible." He divorced her because she was "boring and dull." She married him because he was "the life of the party." She divorced him because "he never wants to come home from a party." |