| A man approached a local in a village he was visiting, the local happened to be our Dear Santa. "What is the quickest way to the nearest City?" Santa scratched his head. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger. "I am driving." "That is the quickest way!" |
| Santa and his girlfriend were driving along one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling. Then she leaned over and whispered in Santa`s ear, "Can you drive using only one hand?" "I sure can" Santa grinned, thinking his luck was in. "Good!" she said, "Then wipe your nose; it`s running!" |
| Santa and Banta, while in New York trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!" Banta, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You are so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Long Island." There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at him. Santa was mortified. He pulled him away and whispered, "We are leaving right now." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally Banta turned to him. "You are angry about something." "Oh, really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I have never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Long Island? You idiot ! No. 5 bus does not go out to Long Island" |
| On a summer holiday in New York Banta decided to visit a bar. At the bar, the man sitting on Banta`s left told the bartender, `Johnie Walker,single.` Then the man on his right ordered, `Jack Daniels, single.` When the barman turned to Banta for an order, he said, Banta, married.` |