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Sincere condolences...
Three guys - Santa, Banta and Ramta - are working on a high-rise building project. Ramta falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Santa says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Banta says, "OK, I am pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I will do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack of beer.
Santa says, "Where did you get that, Banta?"
"Ramta`s wife gave it to me."
"That is unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
Banta says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, You must be Ramta widow. She said, `No, I am not a widow.’ and I said, ‘Wanna bet me a six-pack?’" -
Banta s Phd.
Banta got tired of being the butt of jokes and decided to do his PhD.
While looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis on he saw a cockroach walking around.
Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cut one of its legs. And he said to him, "WALK!”
The cockroach moves forward.
Then Banta cut its second leg and shouted, "WALK!"
The cockroach manages to move forward.
Banta then cut its third leg and commanded, "WALK!" The cockroach manages to wriggle forward on one leg.
Finally Banta cut its fourth leg and shouted, "WALK !".
The poor cockroach could not move and lay helplessly on the table.
Banta repeated the same experiment with over a thousand cockroaches. And he found all results matched.
Banta was jubilant, "Now ! My thesis is ready!"
He proceeds to write down the subject: "When All Four Legs of A Cockroach Are Cut it becomes Deaf !" -
Fishy!
Santa and Banta were coming up in an inlet in the motor boat when they saw another boat loaded with fish.
Seeing as how their luck had been awful today, Santa asked the fisherman what his secret was.
The fisherman replied, "Just go out to sea till the water is fresh. Then stop there and drop your line.
You will get a huge haul of fish there !"
Excited, Santa fired up the motor and headed out to sea. When they got a little way out, he told Banta to fill up a bucket and taste the water.
Banta complied and said, "It is salty - not fresh!"
So Santa went further out and told Banta to taste the water again after some time.
Banta replied, "It is still salty!" And so they went out further. This went on for hours and every time Banta replied that the water was salty. Finally, it was starting to get dark and they were in the middle of nowhere, when Santa asked Banta to taste the water one last time.
Banta replied, "But Santa, there is no more water left in the bucket. -
Banta committing?
Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."