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Ringing bells !
Santa with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. What happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back." -
Following the idiot?
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.
On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be Santa . He was questioned . He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc .
Then authorities questioned : Santa, are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person.
Santa said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close. -
Jesus...
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was Santa, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him."
The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question.
He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews."
Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally Santa arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question.
He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When Santa arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?".
Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I`m already investigating a murder". -
Examination...
Santa is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour, but yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."