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Hurts to touch!
Santa went to a doctor and said, "Doctor, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts"
The doctor asked Santa to touch his elbow. Santa touched his elbow and winced in genuine pain.
The doctor was surprised and asked Santa to touch his head. Santa touched his head and jumped in agony.
The doctor asked him to touch his knee and the same thing happened. Everywhere Santa touched, it hurt like hell.
The doctor was stumped and ordered an complete examination with X-rays, etc and told Santa to come back after two days.
Santa came back two days later and the doctor said," We have found your problem."
"Oh yes? What is it?" asked Santa.
"You have broken your finger!" replied the doctor. -
Jurassic Park!
Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.)
Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!) -
For a job!
Santa was flling up a application for a job. He promptly filled the columns captioned name, age, address, etc. Then he came to the column salary expected. He was not sure as what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: yes ! -
Reverse gear !
Banta bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend.
He reached Jalandhar in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in evening. But he did not reach Amritsar that evening and not even the next day. when he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran out, hugged him and asked, "Arre puttar, ki hoya?"
Banta got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,"Oye, ye Mruti waale paagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur piche jaan waaste sirf ik." (These Maruti-makers are crazy: they make four gears to go forward, but only one to go backward.)