Santa: Nothing is fine. Now the politicians are entering our houses. They are everywhere.
Webmaster: What’s new in it? With the advent of television and private channels, they've already started peeping into our drawing rooms.
Santa: Yes, but now they are into our bedrooms and imitating the fighting style, which is peculiar to couples.
Webmaster: Now, who are you referring to?
Santa: There is a long list. Where shall I start from, the top or the bottom? Ok, forget it. Let me do it from the top and slowly unfold as we reach the bottom.
Webmaster: Hey, where are we heading?
Santa: Not into your bedroom for sure.
Webmaster: Ok, go on.
Santa: Let's start from the home state. Here it's eternal Captain vs. Bhathal. Whenever Bhathal comes back from her court case, she is fuming and soon after heads towards Delhi. For every date of Bhathal, Captain has to attend the ‘Delhi Durbar'.
Webmaster: But who’s courting whom here?
Santa:
Hu! I mean who wants to know anyway? I am more interested in the young lasses of bollywood, count Rekha herein.
Webmaster: She is not young.
Santa: But she doesn’t age also. Eternal Rekha like eternal Amitabh. What if they got married? On second thought, even if they didn’t marry and had offsprings?
Webmaster: I think we were discussing politics here.
Santa: Rekha swayed me away. Then talking of Delhi, we have Sheila vs khund Khurana.
Webmaster: Let’s see, who gets to eat the Delhi pie!
Santa: The one who cooks; and we all know cooking is mostly done by ladies in India. Then we have Mul-ay-am vs. Mul-ay-khas (Maya). Only Mulayam would know the mul (price) of Maya’s MLAs. Kya moh-maya hai!
Webmaster: The people of UP got saved from the high cost of elections.
Santa: But they have elections in their neighbouring state. Half of UP and Bihar would be employed in making kattas and scaring the poor electorates.
Webmaster: Who are you referring to here?
Santa: Diggy Raja vs Uma in MP. Oeee maa! Her name reminds me of another Rekha type, Uma Thurman. But let’s stick to political khichdi. Then we have Vasundhra vs Gehlot in Rajasthan, what a political battle ahead?
Webmaster: Who would win here?
Santa: Some political party. People would be losers for sure.
Webmaster: Is it the end of it?
Santa: We have to go to the bottom of it.
Webmaster: Which bottom?
Santa: You nincompoop, the bottom of India. What else?
Webmaster: You think too fast and too high, that it is beyond my comprehension.
Santa: Leave the thinking to me. Let’s end it by Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya hai!
Webmaster: Why the national anthem?
Santa: I am talking of Jaya and Karu-na.
Webmaster: Did you miss the battle for the main seat of power?
Santa: How can we forget Soni-a and Vaj-payee? One a sohni mem, another payee account cheque of the Hindutva preachers. Sometimes I wish I were in politics!
Webmaster: Why? Is it the lure of power?
Santa: No dammit. It is the lure of the ladies. I am fed up of Jeeto and Preeto. I wish the company of the rich and powerful women.
Webmaster: There was some news regarding the Indian defense minister.
Santa: Yes, the poor chap was hardly out of the parliamentary soup and he landed literally, to the worst ever embarrassment of his life.
Webmaster: Did the opposition say something against him again?
Santa: No sir, it was the Americans. They thoroughly frisked him at the airport, during his recent visit, and made him sit on a bench and asked him stupid questions.
Webmaster: B(o)y George! What a shame! They must have been ruffled by his never ending anti-US rhetoric.
Santa: No, nothing of the sort; it was a case of a mistaken identity. They mistook him to be a coolie from New Delhi airport, who had strayed onto the flight bound for America.
Sometimes I think, 'George Saab' should have represented India at Cancun. The delegates of poor nations should look poor too. They never needed to bother up-to-date Arun Jaitley?
Webmaster: Cancun is passe, we should come back home, where Maya has been uncrowned due to the Taj controversy. Wah Taj, Wah !
Santa: Arey Hazoor, Wah Taj nahin wah Supreme Court Boliye! The SC has saved the seventh wonder of the world and rebuked the eighth wonder of Indian Democracy.
Webmaster: And who is that?
Santa: Modi Saab! It gave Modi and BJP a lesson or two on Raj dharma. But judiciary has its limits too. It is not been able to exert influence at certain places in India.
Webmaster: Like where?
Santa: Bihar, of course, where Laloo ji is the ultimate authority. That is why Prakash Jha got his 'Gangaajal' approved from the 'Kingmaker'. The moment he okayed its release in Bihar, the real Ganga took the cue and flooded the state.
Webmaster: Exactly. Should we discuss nation's another passion, cricket? Any latest happenings on and off the field?
Santa: Nothing, except that West Pakistan beat East Pakistan, how history repeats itself! Moreover, that’s how good teams spend their leisure time these days. Just invite Bangladesh for a match or two and bash'em up for fours and sixes. You see, it helps guys like 'Potatoes' to improve their dwindling figures (read stats here).
Webmaster: Did you know that Inzi has replaced Latif as the captain?
Santa: O yes, there was that match… no… catch fixing scandal. These cricketers keep on making great inventions, to make it more enjoyable for us. Just wait and see, one day they will be honoured. Meanwhile, it’s my turn to honour them with a few verses.
Don’t lose heart Latif,
so what if people think you are a cheat!
The moment one out of you takes over ICC,
the world will honour you for your feat!
Webmaster: Kya rhymimg hai!
Santa: Love makes the poet out of you; ohh dear Preeto…
Webmaster: But ain't she Banta’s wife! Your wife’s name is Jeeto.
Santa: That is why I’m saying…. dear Preeto!
Webmaster: Hey, look there comes Banta. He's looking furious. What’s he pointing with his fists?
Santa: Nothing, I gotta go now. See you, if I escaped this mad man.
Webmaster: Did you fiddle with him?
Santa: Nops, but I fiddled with Preeto.
Webmaster: How?
Santa: In the same fashion as Amarmani Tripathi fiddled with Madhumita. The only difference is that Preeto is alive, and she might have told the (w)hole story to Banta. Bye………………….
