Funny Quotes

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  • If people make you sick maybe you should try cooking them for longer!Upload to Facebook
    If people make you sick maybe you should try cooking them for longer!
    ~ Anonymous
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  • Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.Upload to Facebook
    Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
    ~ E.W. Howe
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  • The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.Upload to Facebook
    The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
    ~ Mark Russell
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  • When older people say, `Enjoy them while they are young.` They are talking about your knees and hips not your kids!Upload to Facebook
    When older people say, "Enjoy them while they are young." They are talking about your knees and hips not your kids!
    ~ Author Unknown
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  • My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!Upload to Facebook
    My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
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  • Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car!Upload to Facebook
    Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car!
    ~ E. B. White
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  • The dog is the god of frolic.Upload to Facebook
    The dog is the god of frolic.
    ~ Henry Ward Beecher
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  • A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running!Upload to Facebook
    A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running!
    ~ Groucho Marx
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  • When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.Upload to Facebook
    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
    ~ Prince Philip
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  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.Upload to Facebook
    Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
    ~ Annonymous
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