Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. -
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Women are confusing. They hate it when you ask how old they are, then they turn around and bite your head off if you forget their birthday.
Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you.