The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
- Gloria Leonard
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
-Cary Grant
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
-Emo Philips
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
-Joan Rivers
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
-William Shakespeare
Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. -Scott E. Roeben
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. -S. J. Perelman
An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card. -Alex comfort
Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies. -Adrienne Gusoff
I'm definitely claustrophobic. I have a morbid fear of tight spaces. Thankfully, with my girlfriend, I'll never have a problem with that. -Scott E. Roeben