Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. -William Shakespeare
I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -Emo Philips
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. -Cary Grant
Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision.
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
When you win the toss - bat. If you are in doubt, think about it, then bat. If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague - then bat.
It's tough for a natural hooker to give it up.
