He's the only man who fakes an orgasm during masturbation.
A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose . . . watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.
Chuck Palahniuk
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush
I've never had to pretend to be having sex with somebody. I'm like the queen of the foreplay dissolve.
Julia Roberts
If God didn't want man to eat pussy, He wouldn't have made it look so much like a TACO!
Anonymous
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover