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![Let's be absolutely clear America is an oil company with an army.]()
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~ George CarlinLet's be absolutely clear America is an oil company with an army. -
![Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you're an asshole.]()
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~ George CarlinEveryone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you're an asshole. -
~ George CarlinThe caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity. -
~ George CarlinDeath is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. -
![Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.]()
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~ George CarlinMost people with low self-esteem have earned it. -
~ George CarlinTrying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. -
~ George CarlinHere's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. -
~ George CarlinThe reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept. -
~ George CarlinDid you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? -
~ George CarlinReligion is like a pair of shoes.Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.
