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Today I learned that the average person consumes 9 alcoholic drinks in a week.
Today I also learned that I am above average! -
I always tell my kids, no matter what, always do whatever their heart tells them to do.
But also check with their mother first to see if it's OK with her! -
Salons always have hair on the floor.
Garages always have oil on the floor.
Banks, what is your problem? -
What do you mean that a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? -
Police have arrested the world tongue twister champion...
They say he will be given a tough sentence! -
Pain makes you stronger.
Tears make you braver.
Heartache makes you wiser.
And alcohol makes you forget any of that crap! -
![What did the Indian cricket fan say to the Pakistani cricket fan after the match?<br />
You're a great sport... when you lose!]()
Upload to Facebook What did the Indian cricket fan say to the Pakistani cricket fan after the match?
You're a great sport... when you lose! -
![Girl: I wish you were more romantic.<br />
Boy: I am, just in my own special way... like when I let you have the last slice of pizza!]()
Upload to Facebook Girl: I wish you were more romantic.
Boy: I am, just in my own special way... like when I let you have the last slice of pizza! -
![My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up!]()
Upload to Facebook My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up! -
![Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?<br />
Boy: I go to the temple.<br />
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?<br />
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!]()
Upload to Facebook Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?
Boy: I go to the temple.
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!
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