| Considering my precarious financial position, I need to maintain social distancing from my debit and credit cards too! |
| People associate wearing glasses with being smart, but you have to fail a test to get them! |
| You don't miss the early 2000s, you miss being a kid. Because the happiest stage of human lives is when their brains aren't fully developed yet! |
| Probably the biggest benefit of being a goth is only having to do one type of laundry! |
| Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The 5 stages of waking up! |
| I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people manage their stupidity! |
| Ever noticed how some people talk louder when they drink? That's why alcohol content is listed by volume! |
| Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to change clothes to leave your house! |
| A different version of you exists in minds of all the people that you've ever met. And the person you think you do not even exist outside your mind! |
| I used to be poor. Then I met Shashi Tharoor and now I am impecunious! |
