| Have you heard they're using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories these days? There are three reasons for this: 1. Lawyers reproduce faster. 2. The scientists don't get attached to the lawyers. 3. A lawyer will do things a rat wouldn't even consider. |
| And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan". |
| Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats. |
| How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? I'm not telling you. |
| A lawyer wrote in his will, "Give all my estate to fools and madmen. From such I had it, and to such I give it again." |