| I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. |
| A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. |
| Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? |
| A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show. |
| If strippers are now called-Exotic Dancers. Shouldn't drug dealers be called Exotic Pharmacists? |
| Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. |
| Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. |
| Shouldn`t Discovery Channel be on a different channel every day? |
| The farther the remote is more you, the more likely you like what's already on TV! |
| Advertisement in a Long Island shop: Guitar, for sale........ Cheap...............no strings attached. |