| My girlfriend called me lazy yesterday; and I almost replied. |
| Passwords are like underwear - change them often. |
| I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
| Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. |
| A Magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. |
| I talk to myself. It's the only way I can get intelligent responses. |
| If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit! |
| The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. |
| The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. |
| If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, is he guilty of resisting a rest? |