| The best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk. |
| I had to shoot him, officer! He was about to hurt himself! |
| I always tell the truth. Even if I have to lie to do it. |
| I have to think twice before I give it a second thought. |
| I got email from a blonde; there was a stamp on it. |
| The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that he's too old for it. |
| I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. |
| I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What good would that do? |
| Doing nothing gets pretty tiresome because you can't stop and rest. |
| The stock market is weird thing. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they are smart. |