| A fool and his money are soon partying. |
| I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him. |
| Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back. |
| Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? |
| Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. |
| The only thing I like about rich people is their money. |
| Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire. |
| A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. |
| Fight back! Fill out your tax forms in Roman numerals. |
| It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. |