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Shaving pubic hair for women should also be made compulsory as part of Diwali cleaning!
Have a smooth Diwali!

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Card playing ladies and guys have a different meaning for:
"I have a good hand!"
May both win their respective games!
Happy gambling during Diwali!

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Diwali festivities would be wonderful even for guys if their wives blew their dicks instead of money.
Have a safe Diwali!

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Friend: Diwali Pe Patake Mat Chhodna.
Me: Bhai Koi Pategi Tabhi Toh Chodenge!

Pollution less Diwali Manao...
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Ek Pataka Lao aur Saari Raat Bajao.
Shubh Deepawali!

Woh Raat Diwali Waali Thi;
Woh Piya Se Chudne Vali Thi;
Koi Duja Aake Chod Gaya;
Land Ko Lehnge Se Poch Gaya;
Uski Ma Ne Kiya Virodh;
Tu Kaise Chudi Bina Nirodh!
Shubh Diwali!

This Diwali, be careful when wishing people "Hardik Shubhkamnaye" in a text message...
If wrongly typed or auto corrected, it could be read as:
"Hard Dick Subah Kaam Na Aaye!"
Happy Diwali!