| What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home. |
| My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. |
| Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. |
| I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women. |
| A nymphomaniac is a woman as obsessed with sex as the average man. |
| Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love. |
| The only time my wife gets hot is when she burns her hand while cooking. |
| When you see a woman sitting with her legs open, never tell her to close them, because you do not know her source of fresh air. |
| The anger of a penis doesn't destroy the vagina. |
| Everybody loves erotic content. |